In Video: Anita Asante and Beth Fisher on the difficulties facing lesbian sportswomen that wish to be parents

The Unspoken Journey of Becoming a Mother: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Empowerment

Beth and I, a lesbian couple, embarked on an extraordinary journey of shared motherhood through IVF. Our path was not without its challenges, but it has been an incredible learning experience that has brought us closer together and helped us discover new aspects of ourselves.

The Decision to Use an Egg Extraction

For me, the decision to use my egg extraction was a significant one. As an athlete, I knew that I couldn’t be physically active during the process, and it made sense for us as a couple to wait until I was done playing to start exploring this chapter of our lives. We realized that IVF was a journey that required our full focus, and it was essential to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the next steps.

The Importance of Shared Motherhood

As a lesbian couple, we knew that we wanted to explore an alternative way to conceive a child. We couldn’t have a biological child that was DNA-matched between us, but shared motherhood was the next best alternative. We wanted our child to have a mixed heritage, reflective of our diverse backgrounds and experiences. As a Welsh mother, I was eager to pass on my cultural heritage to our future child.

Dealing with Family Reactions

We worried about how our families would react to our decision to pursue shared motherhood. My family, in particular, had concerns about the concept of not having a biological link between our child and me. However, once our daughter was born, all those concerns melted away. Being a mother has given me a newfound sense of purpose and fulfillment.

The Sperm Bank Experience

When choosing a sperm bank, we were struck by the vast array of options available. We opted to go with a Danish sperm donor, selecting one that shared our values and interests. The process was fascinating, as we sifted through profiles, considering factors such as height, intelligence, and personality traits. Ultimately, we chose a donor who resonated with our vision of parenthood.

The IVF Journey

The IVF process involved a series of injections, medications, and monitoring. It was a surreal experience, as my body underwent significant physical changes. I felt like I was carrying "massive eggs" around, even ordinary physical activities like moving mini goals felt more challenging.

The Power of IVF and Openness

Our decision to share our IVF experience has been empowering, as it has allowed us to raise awareness about the IVF process and its implications. We hope that by sharing our story, we can help others feel less isolated and more supported in their own journey.

Confronting Homophobia in Sport

Unfortunately, our announcement of our pregnancy was met with homophobic abuse and ignorance. As a sports community, we still have a long way to go in terms of inclusivity and acceptance. However, we remain resolute in sharing our story, using our platform to promote greater understanding and empathy.

By sharing our journey, we hope to inspire others to embrace their differences and celebrate their uniqueness.